Q: What is the sound of an electron screaming?
A: eeeeee– !
Rene Descartes is in a bar. At last call, the bartender asks him if he’d like another drink. Descartes says “I think not”. And he disappears. The Prairie Home Companion
“When the well is dry, we know the price of water.” Ben Franklin
“There are no problems we cannot solve together, and very few that we can solve by ourselves.” Lyndon B. Johnson
Q. What color is ozone?
A. Ozone gas is colorless to pale blue, depending upon concentration. Liquid ozone (b.p. -112°C) and solid ozone (m.p. -193°C) are dark blue.
“We do not inherit the earth, we borrow it from our children” Unknown
“I have an obsession with wind farms.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I’m a big fan.” jokes4rus.com
Q: How do politicians plan to combat record high temperatures?
A: By switching from Fahrenheit to Celsius. jokes4rus.com
Fireworks were developed ~1000 years ago in China.
Fireworks were used in Europe to mark important events, starting with Henry VII’s wedding in 1486.
The Italians were the first to add metals to impart color to fireworks (1830s).
Source: http://www.history.com/news/fireworks-vibrant-history
Barium makes fireworks green. Strontium gives red; copper, blue; and sodium yellow.
Perchlorate is a common component (oxidizer) of fireworks.
Source: http://acswebinars.org/mocella
Q: Why shouldn’t you take a turkey to church?
A: It uses FOWL language.
Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside.
You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? – Steven Wright
Everything is in walking distance if you have the time. – Steven Wright
RED ALERT! RED ALERT!
NaCl
———
NaOH (the base is under a salt)
Q: What is HIJKLMNO?
A: H2O
Q: Why are chemists great at solving problems?
A: They have all the solutions.
Q: What happens when all the smog is gone from Los Angeles?
A: UCLA
